Basic + Behind
I get in this space of feeling basic + behind all the time.
In real life, I know I'm neither but my mind tells me I am more times than not.
I think it can be a good thing just as well as a bad thing, but then again I'm starting to see most things like that these days.
But it keeps me on my toes.
Keeps my mind on the move, although that's tiring ... my mind never sleeps.
There's so much I want to do.
So many things I want to create.
If I had the energy I'd create EVERY hour of the day ... like tangibly create.
The levels I think I about producing on...
The impact I imagine having.
It drives me CRAZY.
Im grateful tho .... lately, it's been mostly inspired by just me pushing me ... rather than me watching someone else and judging my progress by theirs.
It still happens, but less everyday.
Progress is a process.
I probably sleep less than anyone I know. Outside of work work, I have my personal work and I have the things outside of all the work that just make me feel good. I need the balance ... or at least the illusion of one.
I get a "that's good enough" feeling maybe once a week, if that, and when it does come, it doesn't last long. In the moment of rest, my mind starts up again on what I could be doing instead.
Focused on creating. Purposefully. Intentionally. Focused on beating me everytime. Always looking for a challenge ... from myself ... my biggest critic and my biggest supporter.